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Nov 5, 2021 · 27. You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it. 28. There’s a lot to be said in his favor, but it’s not nearly as interesting. 29. They’ve been treating me like one of ... 27. You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it. 28. There’s a lot to be said in his favor, but it’s not nearly as interesting. 29. They’ve been treating me like one of ...May 19, 2023 · I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus, a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Life is like a bird. It’s pretty until it shits on your head. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. One liner tags: communication, people, travel. 81.57 % / 433 votes. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. One liner tags: attitude, communication, rude, travel, work. Aug 12, 2019 · 3. “She doesn’t even go here!”. This line is in this particular spot because I think it's more difficult for younger films to get noticed for their incredible one-liners. Films like The Godfather, Star Wars, or what's considered "classic cinema" tend to get all of the attention for noteworthy lines. Nostalgia is often triggered by something reminding you of a happier time. Whether it's an old commercial or a book from your past, it belongs in /r/nostalgia. Dec 24, 2022 · Please come again! ***. Life is like a pen*s: women can make it hard in an instant. A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: “Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!”. A wife asks her husband: “How many women have you ever slept with?”. The husband responds: “One, two, three, four, you, five, six… six total”.12 Dirty One-Liners, First Edition. Check these out, or fold the laundry. Better yet, check these out while folding the laundry! Jokes On Us is all about the funny. …A stock market crash is worse than a divorce, you lose half your money and your wife is still around. One liner tags: marriage, money, women. 86.90 % / 135 votes. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. One liner tags: marriage. 82.57 % / 1666 votes. I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.Lawyer Jokes Puns & One Liners: 90 Hilarious Quips for Legal Laughs. By Joke Plant July 14, 2023. jHuddle up, folks, because we’re about to dive into a realm of hilarity with 90 laugh-out-loud jokes about lawyers. These aren’t your typical courtroom dramas; they’re side-splitting, rib-tickling jests that’ll get even …01. My wife says she wants another baby. I'm so glad because I also really don't like the first one. 02. A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas …01. My wife says she wants another baby. I'm so glad because I also really don't like the first one. 02. A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas …Dec 9, 2021 · 606 shares. By. Funny Irish jokes irish jokes one-liner funny irish jokes. Cúl an Tí By Seán Ó Ríordáin – Irish And English Version. Top Irish Poem Number 82: A Drover By Padraic Colum. Denny Farrell. Wednesday 8th of March 2023. Thanks for the joy. Chicago, IL.According to Simply Good Stuff, dirty residue in a washing machine is usually caused by either insufficient cleaning or mechanical failure. Simply Good Stuff notes that better clea...Feb 16, 2024 · cartoons, jokes, one liners, one-liners, One Liners, One-Liners, One-liners, dirty jokes, clean jokes, comedy, humor, humour, funny stories, confucius say, Confucius Say, put downs, come backs, observations ... They'd probably find him quicker. Anyone can masturbate under a sheet, but it takes skill to do it without the barber noticing.Aug 20, 2023 · I have a huge collection of most offensive one liners jokes and Dirty one liners. It makes you laugh. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they open their mouths.”. “I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus, a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.”. “I don’t have a beer gut.Whether you’re looking for a quick joke to share with friends or need a witty comeback to lighten the mood, these funny one-liners are sure to do the trick. From …1 day ago · Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold pint and another one! A cabin with plenty of food is better than a hungry castle. The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven’t seen the joke yet. A hair on the head is worth two on the brush.Oct 25, 2023 · Related: Ghost Pun Jokes. “I bet I can make you scream tonight.”. “Let’s take this party back to my coffin.”. “I could make the hairs on your neck stand up.”. “I’ve got some wicked feelings brewing for you.”.Yes—a general explanation. Hot water can in fact freeze faster than cold water for a wide range of experimental conditions. This phenomenon is extremely counterintuitive, and surprising even to most scientists, but it is in fact real. It has been seen and studied in numerous experiments . Although this phenomenon has been known for centuries ...Here is a list of several of the best “Quicker than a..” or “Faster than a..” one-liners that I made up or found online. I was trying to come up with something funny for a …Ancient proverb say. “Never bait trap with wolf to catch wolf.” (Shadows Over Chinatown) Ancient proverb say, “One small wind can raise much dust.” (Dark Alibi) …Husband Wife Jokes. For wives, who want to get back at their husband we have assembled a beautiful and hilarious collection of husband wife funny jokes. Make use of these wife and husband jokes and have fun. Wife: Let’s go out and have fun tonight! Husband: Okay but, if you get back before me, leave the light on.Quicker is used to compare the speed of two actions or events. For example, if one person completes a task in 10 minutes and another person completes the same task in 5 minutes, the second person completed the task quicker than the first person. Quicker is an adverb that is used to modify verbs or adjectives.Nowadays, legs spread quicker than rumors. Women and rocks are very much alike … We skip the flat ones. I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind. Don’t call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses. I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can’t watch porn.Jul 5, 2017 · Free Funny and Witty Ecard: 50 Hilarious Dirty One Liner Jokes List Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour. I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - No votes and 2 comments Whenever I have a problem that can be solved by a Perl one-liner, there are two obstacles to using something like your book: 1. 100+ Motivational Quotes For Weight Loss. Funny fish puns, memes, and fishing one-liners – Nano Reef ... Here are some Faster Than One Liners items I have now: Vanished quicker than [one hit wonder]’s music career. Definition of quicker in the Idioms Dictionary. quicker phrase. What does quicker expression mean? Definitions by the largest Idiom Dictionary. What does quicker expression mean? Definitions by the largest Idiom Dictionary. Better to keep your mouth shut and seem a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. The barn door’s open and the mule’s trying to run. (Your fly’s down.) Don’t get all het up about it ... Aug 12, 2014 · 15 Classical Henny Youngman one-liners. Posted by Addam Corre on 12 Aug, 2014. Henry “Henny” Youngman was born in Liverpool, England in 1906 and died in New York when he was 91 years old. The columnist, Walter Winchell, dubbed Youngman ‘The King of the One-Liners.’.Mar 3, 2024 · Funny Anglo Saxon puns short one-liners; The impact of these disappear jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social ...Oct 17, 2009 · 4. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer. 5. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list. 35 brilliant one-liners that will make you smile. 07/11/2023 by Roy Sutton. Whenever I share funny one-liners with readers, the posts are always popular. So it seemed like a good idea to collect a few more for you. I’ve been collecting a lot more one-liners of late, so I thought it was time I shared them with you, dear reader.Jan 15, 2019 · 47 of the Funniest One-Liners on the Internet. Tim Latterner Updated: Jan. 25, 2024. Nothing's easier than a simple one-liner. The biggest laughs come from jokes that take little more than a ...Nov 30, 2018 · And that was cos I’d no small change for the window cleaner.”. – Victoria Wood. “Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, ‘Yes, who did you ... By Alex Nelson. April 24, 2023 2:27 pm (Updated April 24, 2023 2:28 pm) Sometimes you just want to make somebody laugh, but are pushed for time. Whether it’s the swift one …My friend was in a band called the Powdered Potatoes. They had a smash hit. Russia decided to launch a satellite full of potatoes into orbit. It’s called the spud nic. My friend had a terrible time working for a potato merchant. They gave him the sack. I know you’ve already heard potato jokes.Husband Wife Jokes. For wives, who want to get back at their husband we have assembled a beautiful and hilarious collection of husband wife funny jokes. Make use of these wife and husband jokes and have fun. Wife: Let’s go out and have fun tonight! Husband: Okay but, if you get back before me, leave the light on.50 best Frankie Boyle jokes: funniest quips and one-liners from the Glaswegian comedian. Top flight footballer dead at 19. 30 injured in horror smash. Boy found dead at bottom of cliffs. 'Smiling ... These are some of the cleverest funny one liner jokes you’ll ever read. They’re almost too awesome to be true. “I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.”. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.”. “I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.”. “Worrying works! Jul 5, 2017 · Free Funny and Witty Ecard: 50 Hilarious Dirty One Liner Jokes List Quicker is used to compare the speed of two actions or events. For example, if one person completes a task in 10 minutes and another person completes the same task in 5 minutes, the second person completed the task quicker than the first person. Quicker is an adverb that is used to modify verbs or adjectives.One liner tags: attitude, rude, sarcastic, work. 82.36 % / 358 votes. I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here. One liner tags: animal, death, rude, sarcastic. 82.16 % / 1633 votes. The only thing more important than your happiness is mine so get on it.May 29, 2023 · Kit Kat – “Have a break, have a Kit Kat.”. Kit Kat’s famous tagline is instantly recognizable and has been used in countless ads and marketing campaigns. The one-liner pun makes a simple suggestion – take a break – and associates it with the pleasure of eating a Kit Kat. McDonald’s – “I’m lovin’ it.”. Jul 12, 2023 · Lights, camel-ra, action. The royal family of camels live in Camel-lot Castle! A camel’s favorite car is the Toyota Camelry. Camels love to pose for the camel-ra! If you cross a camel and a cow, you’ll end up with a very lumpy milkshake. Let me get my camel-corder When camels need medicine, they go to the fur-macy.Sophia: "Yeah, open to everyone, day or night." Rose: "Well, I'm here if you want to pick my brain." Dorothy: "Rose, honey. Maybe we should leave it alone and let it heal." Also, not a one liner but the scene where Dorothy is describing the paper bird she had as a child and how Sophia used it to light a fire kills me every time 😂. Shell One-liners and Quick and Dirty Loops. Sometimes you jMany of us make this tax mistake! Did you These 53 one-liners are more than just ephemeral jests; they are a testament to the human ability to find laughter amidst the sternest settings. It’s a healthy reminder that a dose of humor can make the medicine go down a little easier, and perhaps, brighten the day of both the healer and the ailing. So the next time … Because nothing should be tighter than an Jul 11, 2023 · A fish swam into a concrete wall, Dam! Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. The guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda was lucky it was a soft drink. The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize. The clearance rate would be quicker than an intravenous...

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Nov 30, 2018 · And that was cos I’d no small change for the window cleaner.”. – Victoria Wood. “Recently my girlfriend asked me ...

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